Self-Reg

Self Reg: How to Help Your Child (And You) Break the Stress Cycle and Successfully Engage with Life

Stuart Shanker is a research professor at York University outside Toronto, Canada with a background in pyschology and philosophy. This book is written for parents (and therapists) in assisting children develop self-regulation. Stuart defines self-regulation as the ability to enter into a state of calm. He identifies 5 domains of stress and self-regulation.


Biological Domain:

• Nutrition, sleep, and exercise

Cognitive Domain:

• Memory, attention, information processing, reasoning, problem solving, and self awareness

Emotional Domain

• Both novel and well established emotions

Social Domain

• Adapt behavior and thinking appropriately in social situations

Prosocial Domain

• Empathy, selflessness, internal standard and social responsibility, as well as the ability to place other's needs above their own.

Shanker starts the book with the biological components related to self-regulation:

Limbic System

The most important part of the brain related to self-regulation. The limbic system is a complex system of nerves and networks in the brain concerned with instinct and mood. The limbic system controls basic functions such as hunger, thirst, anger, fear, and pleasure. Our limbic systems are hardwired to respond in kind when confronted with someone else’s aroused limbic system, positive or negative. This is why laughter is contagious and if some shouts angrily at us we instantly want to shout back.

• Amygdala: Emotional part of our brain
• Hippocampus: Controls memory, emotion and the autonomic nervous system (fight or flight). 
• Hypothalamus: overseas our internal milieu. Regulating body temperature, glucose, sleep, hunger, thirst
• Basal Ganglia: contains three separate clusters of neurons that are involved in involuntary movements
• Thalamus: relays sensory information from the body to the brain. Center for pain reception

For therapists out there, I have found an interesting resource to teach children about the different parts of the limbic system in a functional way to assist with self regulation. You can create different characters including "The Jumpy Superhero (amygdala)", "The Smart One (Prefrontal Cortex)", and "The Librarian (Hippocampus)".

http://blissfulkids.com/mindfulness-and-the-brain-how-to-explain-it-to-children/

The Triune Brain: 3 part Harmony

Shanker describes the triune brain from an evolutionary perspective identifying the oldest portions of the brain (reptilian brain) to the newest and most complex regions of the brain (the neocortex).

• Neocortex
• completes higher level functioning including language, thinking, mindreading, emotional cues and self-control
• Paleomammalian Brain
• houses the limbic system with strong emotional urges
• Reptilian Brain
• regulates arousal and alertness. Releases adrenaline and cortisol

The 5 Core Steps to Transforming Behavior

1. Read the signs and reframe the behavior
2. Identify the Stressors-could be easy to identify (extra demands placed on a child) to more subtle—the amount of light or visual stimulation in the room.
3. Reduce the Stress
4. Reflect. Become aware of when you’re overstressed
5. Respond. Figure out what helps you calm, rest and recover.

*The Difference between Self-Regulation and Self-Control*

       It is only by being regulated that a child develops the ability to self-regulate. This does not mean the only way a child will acquire self-control is if we first control him.

• Emotional Regulation
• monitoring, evaluating and modifying one’s emotions. Recognize, reduce, restore. 

Cognition

      Any of the mental processes involved in learning: attention, perception, memory, and problem solving.

1. Attentiveness
2. Ignoring Distraction
3. Delaying Gratification
4. Combining Ideas
5.  Sequencing Ideas
6. Tolerating Frustration
7. Learning from mistakes
8. Switching Focus
9. Seeing the Relationship between causes and effects
10. Thinking in abstract terms

Working on the Physical Roots of Attention          

1. Slow things down (your speech, conversations, and interactions with your child about everyday things, especially when you give instructions).
2. Accentuate the intensity of certain kinds of stimuli—sound or visual, for instance—so that your child can fully register the sensation. Reduce the intensity of other stimuli that predictably trigger an alarm response in your child.
3. Break ideas or instructions into smaller steps to allow your child to focus on one step or one piece of information at a time.
4. Help your child recognize when a physical activity or stimulating game helps him release tension and feel calmer. Ask your child if he fells like a robot (stiff or tense) or a rag doll (relaxed) afterward.

http://www.npr.org/sections/13.7/2016/07/07/484910409/why-its-self-reg-not-self-control-that-matters-most-for-kids